A Fairy Tale About a Little Democrita.

Once day a girl was born in a family of Greek father and Jewish mother. The parents decided to name her Democrita. She was a bright little thing, always learning from everyone, from her educated intelligent parents in particular. These parents, the doctor, and the lawyer, were always very progressive, embracing all the right causes. And what was especially important, they hated Republicans more than anything. Republicans –were the people who belong to the other party that sometimes ruled the country. Needless to say, the reign of Republicans was viewed by Democrita parents and all their friends as no less a disaster than a plague or pandemic.

So during the family meals the comment – “don’t act like a Republican” – became the worst reprimand and insult. While Democrita was growing up, she actually believed that Republicans snack on children before dinner. Whenever there were some problems with medicine or law – it was always Republican fault, according to her parents.

Democrita, without knowing it, began to hate Republicans with all her heart. She never talked to any Republican, trying to avoid them like lepers. Eventually, it became an obsession. When she learned that Republicans liked to eat meat, she became vegetarian. When she found out that Republicans like big cars, she began to ride bikes. It has eventually pervaded all her life choices – from people she dated, to the music she listened, to the films she watched. The beer was popular with Republicans – she started drinking white wine. This actor voted Republican – she won’t see this film.

Yet, as hard as she tried to avoid, ostracize, and ignore Republicans, they were everywhere. In Congress, on TV, in her college and on her street.

Democrita became so obsessed with the Republican menace, that she realized that the traditional morality and religion are not adequate to address the omnipresent evil of her times— the Republicans. (It was easy for Democrita to dismiss traditional religion, since she knew very little about it, as her parents have convinced her long time ago that religion was an evil and absurd practice of the Republicans).

So Democrita -- being well educated and talented and possessing the charm of both of her parents, has decided to organize a new religion, which some have called Revelation, but others, mostly Republicans, a Cult.

This new religion had its own saints and sinners – those who contributed to the Democratic party were called Saints, and conversely, Sinners were those pervert souls who would give their money to the Rep People. It also had its angels and demons –the leaders of these two parties. The fall in religion was defined as the conversion to Republicanism. The Devil was the Snake News, the news outlet that would try to convince naïve souls who watched it into looking at things from the Republican perspective.

Democrita did not want to overburden young kids who followed her with too much history. Consequently, as she was building her cult, she drew the parallels with the recent events. Clinton was pronounced the Father, Obama the Son. Realizing that she was building an all inclusive, all embracing politically correct cult, she felt that limiting it all to a son and a father was blatantly sexist. So she declared Hillary as the Mother, and herself as the Daughter. This holy family was sustained and held together by the undefined and indefinable spirit, which was referred to as They and which was given a name of Transgendered Legion.

Democrita’s cult began to grow fast, after all, it was very easy for its members to feel good about themselves, and that’s the reason people join the cults to begin with. Anything that Republicans liked was declared unholy, conversely, anything that would promote, emulate or embrace the teaching of the daughter, mother, son, father, or They, was by definition partaking of grace. Cult, along with contributions to it, was growing, Democrita enjoyed tremendous love and popularity, and she even began to contemplate a political career, but then …

Oh, horror! The emanation of evil, the creature who would make anti-Christ look like Mother Teresa, the upstart who called himself an Orange Rep, has blasted on the horizon, and got himself elected into the White Palace, the place where the rulers of the country resided. It was surely the last days. The members of Democrita cult could neither sleep, nor eat: crying did not help, praying to They to smash the Orange Rep didn’t produce any result either.

But Democrita didn’t despair. In fact, ever since the Orange Rep came to power, the membership of her cult began to grow exponentially. Soon, she was wallowing in money. Not knowing what to do with them, she began to build giant mansions with gold, marble and her logo, Holy Democrita, placed on every structure that she owned.

Every day, from her pulpit, she’s would announce that the last days were here, that the evil had to be confronted now, or it would be too late, that the Orange Rep was planning to destroying the world next week, so it was essential to mail contributions immediately.

With the money that she collected and the power she accumulated, Democrita had been able to outspend the Orange Rep, and got herself elected to the highest office on the country. Being a holy daughter and having a special diploma from the rest of the holy family, she managed to introduce a new amendment to the constitution that granted her power for life.

There was only one problem that has threatened her rule, though. The Orange Rep had managed to escape, having dressed himself in one of his wife’s outfits. He began to form the army of resistance from all sorts of misfits and deplorables; he called on them to put an end to the reign of “this nasty woman,” as he would refer to Democrita. How was this epic confrontation resolved is shrouded in mystery, unfortunately. The only thing that the historians know is that Democrita was correct about “the last days.” The whole country has been covered by such a thick layer of nuclear waste, that the researchers failed to establish the winner of this epic confrontation between Orange Rep and Democrita.