Cat Show. 07/16/2021
VG: There is something emblematic about the recently departed Donald Rumsfeld. Powerful man who was paranoid, cynical, and intelligent in equal measure; which gave him the opportunity to get to the top of the political ladder and never regret anything that he’s done. He clearly belonged to this group of US leaders who— similar to CIA’s George Bush— were not an “apologetic kind of a guy.” It is strange to see how American political leaders, who always go to church and pretend to embrace the major maxims of religion, end up acting like Stalin, an atheist and cynic, and another “non-apologetic kind of a guy.”
HOBBS: We have another non-apologetic kind of a guy in the White House right now. The guy who is either cynical, or senile, or both to be perturbed by anything that had happened on his watch. Destroying Yugoslavia, fine, wars in ME, fine, creating a nazi homunculus in the center of Europe, fine, sending his son to get the share of this homunculus money, fine as well. Now, I hear that this son, who’s already wasted all his loot on coke, has decided to go Bush way, and become an artist. So the White House came up with a sick scheme of non-disclosing the names of those who would buy the works of this great artist, Hunter Biden. Well, there is no need to disclose, since we all know that the first painting of Biden will be bought by a Ukrainian oligarch, followed by Saudi, and then Chinese.
ALICE: Oh, you guys still can’t recover from Trump’s loss, can you? Just get over it. Stop denying the obvious. In America, as Biden observed correctly, you don’t deny the result of elections. If you are not happy with your loss, just prepare yourself better next time an win. Of course, it is clear, that Republicans will never win, for the simple reason that their party does not enjoy a popular support, and it is also clear that after Trump, they would never come up with any credible candidate who’ll appeal to Democrats. This new candidate would immediately be labeled “Trump-light,” immediately triggering the TDS (Trump derangement syndrome). The net result will be another Democrat, senile, cynical or both, in the White House.
HOBBS: I am so happy that finally, the Democrats will stay in power for a while, concentrating on what they are best at: confuse and conquer. Confuse people with identity politics and conquer them, confuse them with virus, climate, Russia, China, socialism, imperialism, and all other matters of consequence, and continue to rule.
VG: That’s a good point, Hobbs. Confusion seems to be modus operandi here. We all know that imperialism and colonialism are bad. But when you are engaged in it as the duty to protect, as a humanitarian action, then it is good and humanitarian colonialism ceases to be colonialism. Same applies to race (racism is bad, but reversed racism is not racism), to law and order, or pandemic, which is not a cause for panic but at the same it is the cause of the most panic driven measures as possible. Same applies to the relationship with other countries (when we grab a territory for our base, it is good, when Russians or Chinese do it, it is bad). I am not surprised therefore that not only people, but even the mother nature got confused witnessing all this acrobatics. It his hot in northern Canada and Russia, it is cold in the desert.
ALICE: Confusion is in both of your heads. I am never confused. BBC and NPR are always so logical and clear. The key is to remember only what’s being said today and never to compare it to the yesterday news. All yesterdays are so passé. Vladimir, have you ever wondered why historians in universities always get paid better than other professors of social sciences? Because their work is very hard. They are constantly dealing with contradictions, and confusion, and all other nasty things that humans do. As opposed to, say, political scientists, who just read what the leaders of their party tell them. Of course, they should be paid less.
HOBBS: That does not make any sense. Political scientists prepare a lot of people, who want to work for government, law, media, or other “read-the-memo” professions. Thus, they have to be paid a lot. As opposed to historians, who prepare just a handful of hardened souls, willing to waste their youth on sitting in archives and reading about other people’s follies.
VG: I say, literature people should be paid the most. They read novels, which tell us everything, both about great expectations and lost illusions, both about other people’s villainy and mischief, but also about those who write and read memos and succeed in life, exactly like Donald Rumsfeld did. Does not Tolstoy has this amazing story, “The Death of Ivan Ilych,” about the guy who never questioned anything, who was a lawyer and “non-apologetic kind of a guy” and who nevertheless was forced to deal with doubts, regrets, and despair by the end of his life?
HOBBS: Are you suggesting that Rumsfeld, McCain or Bush had their moments of doubt and regrets? I have my doubts about that. Still, if Tolstoy thinks that even the most obtuse and myopic people like Ivan Ilych won’t escape the witching hour of self-scrutiny, then who am I to doubt it.
ALICE: Yes, McCain and other Republicans will surely have their day of reckoning. But not us, Democrats. We’ve never done anything wrong, unless you consider fighting corrupt, racist, and homophobic Republicans and Communists as wrong. So I hear that Clintons had hired a French coach to teach them Edith Piaf’s famous, “Non, je ne regrette rien.”
HOBBS: The rumor has it that Merkel and Macron were rehearsing it too. They were planning to sing it at Bastille Day in Paris, but Merkel got stuck in German flooding. So the competition is surely heating up. I would have bet on Boris Johnson to come up with the most flamboyant version of the song, but Brits unfortunately, haven’t been winning at anything recently.
